on being 30

Gosh!!! Where did the time go??

I am not going to lie, I am feeling all sorts of things...not really about being/turning 30. I don't even have any thoughts about that except for gratitude. Seriously, I who was dead the night before is always happy to wake with the sun and behold the splendor of  (or even mundanity) life. 

My main issues at present are: 

1. Work 

Really struggling with work atm because I am a below average doctor. Think of when Alex fried than man's brain in season one,  or when April didn't look into the lady's mouth, or when she failed her boards. So yeah, feeling like I am in no joy's land. 

[I have just completed one of my mandatory training modules, it was on patient safety and I guess systems and human and human factors but welele.]

It doesn't help gore just as I was getting comfortable in the last block, I had to rotate. 

Action plan:

- more self-compassion 

- seeking out more feedback 

- creating a culture of openness and safety with myself 

- being more thorough 

2. My health 

I have been feeling rather off (as in with some physical symptoms), so I went to the Doctor and he ordered scans and I am shitting bricks wondering what they are gonna show. For me, truly one of my greatest fears is ill health, especially in a foreign country with very little support. 

Action plan:

- sufficient are the troubles of the day there off [like what else can be said ???]

I guess I just wanted to name my fears/worries/concerns as the first step of many. Bye now x 

Happy spring and happy full moon!! 

Happy birthday Maatla xx

Seiously bye now, I have swimming which I am also bad it :(