best laid plans

Hello Reader...

Writing this from Cafe Nero, the one on Finchley High Street. One of my friends is so obsessed with independent coffee shops, God knows I try to find some...but out here, in the less gentrified sticks, it's nigh on impossible. I am not mad though, I get like 20% in my unidays discount... am I a student? Well...I paid that university close to £8000 to teach myself medical education [yes, technically it was my employer, but that was probably what I should have earned if my salary was competitive]... so yeah, I am very much going to benefit from their email. I mean I am still losing here because why am I paying £6.20 for a coffee and a muffin?? 

I try to romanticise my off days because they are very much like gold dust, just rotting wastes my youth at an unacceptable rate. It was going well until I shattered the back of my phone in the toilet of this very cafe. You see, any way you look at it, I am still losing. But it's fine, my Amex will have to work. I bet they're gonna charge me like £250...but ke ta reng? I absolutely have to do that shift and the end of my three nights now. Another loss, how have I accepted that my job pays me not enough and that each month, I have to sacrifice my gold dust??? When we revolt, I am gonna be leading the pack.

But also, I am always putting away money every month, like isn't this the point of it? Sometimes things break and you can't do anything about it, except for repairing them, so thank God you have savings - I think. I mean I suppose you should also have insurance too. But my main focus at the moment is life insurance, hmu if you got a good deal. I suppose I won by only buying jeans in the black Friday sales. 

The walk here was so beautiful. I hope God always keeps me in locations where I am close to lots of green, water and quiet.

I haven't had an original thought in so long so this blog is not going anywhere. 

At work, we use electronic notes and I am so tech-un savvy... like I am always pecking at the keyboard and that truly causes so much shame on my end. 

My visa is out, it seems, so it is a good thing that I was already going to Central to get my phone (hopefully) fixed. 

I absolutely do not have much to say. 

My greatest loss is probably not affording salmon anymore... :(

Ohh this month's pay they deducted the strike pay. It was like £300 less. At first, I panicked and then I realized five to sixish days off work is worth the same as one bank shift, with the most standard rate. Themma ba re hithetse, and it is not even funny. 

If we continue to progress at this rate, I am probably gonna go off-grid and live off the land. It is so sad though, because the land is so ravaged by climate change, it probably can't do much feeding... but maybe I will finally go back to a size ten.

I better try at least one hour of studying before we go to Central London. 

I guess the parting message is, rage and rage against the dying of your light, yes capitalism, yes the cold, yes all of the bad things... just RAGE even when your plans go array. 

Love, 

BP 

Addendum 

The repair cost £517.00. 

They said the screen was playing up once they had fixed it so they gave me a new phone,  'new phone'. So if you see me, give me a hug. 

And I did the shift at the end of my nights; first of all - I love children. When I do A&E and they send me to paeds, I am like 'ohh nooo the parents are gonna shout at me, ohhh but I will miss the exciting adult stuff'... but I genuinely enjoy it. They are so cute, and and and...

But I am knackered, so probably - never again. Ama be well rested before any other extra shifts I pick, gonna pick palaces that are not horrible to drive to, and I am not gonna be afraid to dip into my savings. Like maybe to pay the apple bill but driving back ke otsela and I was nope...you absolutely can't risk your life for this. 

Frontal lobe keeps doing its thing and I am here for it.