I can't think of a title

 Hi,   

Absolutely nothing is ethical about the prices of homes. Like, even if it means the current not-so-upper-class owners get robbed from the resale. I am sorry, but I do not think anything over £350,000 is justifiable for any type of home/house with four or fewer bedrooms. Where am I going to get such staggering amounts of money?? Am I going to be a renter for life (or like my whole life in the UK) - sweet Mary, mother of God!! Wow!! Just wow!! Jesus... I am never making it out of the mud!  I need to get serious about applying for a setsha back home because...WOW - this is actually dangerous.   

 

Ohh and okay...like my salary is about £2400.00 after tax (which apparently is not bad in the grand scheme of things, and I do have the option to work extra shifts (locum-ing or contracted), which could take it up to maybe £3100 after tax... locum-ing would probably ask for one or two shifts extra/month from me, whilst contracted leaves me with just one free weekend in a month, so you know, nervous conditions indeed.) My savings – lol (I had a difficult year and moving is not the cheapest thing out there). Umm yeah... I am feeling the pinch...I am just like bathong whot?? Been feeling it...and yes, I USE money... Waitrose's finest? Yes, why not? I have to experience it at some point. Buttttttt....nahh man. My heart shatters literally, with every food shop. I feel the pain - quite viscerally - if that is how the English goes. Not so much when I eat out because, you know...but what will the end be, please? Wow – just wow. We are not making it out alive.  

  

Anyway, that is what casually browsing houses on the market gets you; sorrow and pain, a sign that I should be planning my lessons and doing my schoolwork instead of being distracted.

 

I am having an awfully slow start to the year; I am not sure if I am coming or going (as always). I just...yeah... 

 

There are a lot of positives – truly, and I am always grateful. Still, it is terribly slow, and I need to be jumpstarted into action somehow...

 

I have applied for training and have gotten interview invites (big congratulations to me!!). Still, I am seriously considering whether I want to be a paediatrician. I am incredibly terrified of children as patients (my last job traumatized me a little bit ngl). There are parts of paeds that are incredibly boring, 'Ohhhh, they are not eating and drinking....’ OKAY – can we do some real medicine here, please?!! But again, the emergencies are just too intense. I also hate geriatrics soooo...is that ageist? They also come in because they are not eating very well, so there is that too... I want to be an oncologist or a gastroenterologist, or an intensivist... (and honestly, I am not sure how I got to intensive care medicine... I just heard some doctors talking, and they were just so impressive, and I was like, ‘Should be me haha..’). So yes... see how nothing changes with me?

 

In summary, I need more money and direction in life. I feel soothed after this little word vomit (even if it's only a little). I will do the schoolwork then maybe go for a walk at 3.30pm. I had the heating on (without the landlady’s permission). See why I need to be a baller? Anyway, these radiators better be ice cold when she gets back...Seriously, how is this my life?! 

 

Also, I really enjoyed this, which may have inspired this unravelling.

  

To a happy and beautiful year!  

  

Love and light x