Update

Hello,

Woke up at 4 am because I have a lot to do, my body does this thing; it will try and get me over my deadlines. I guess it is really rooting for me, or I am rooting for me because 'whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling'. I mean, that definitely holds because it is me that is me experiences the consequences of my actions, and up to now, it has allowed me to procrastinate, so maybe it is rooting for me and not rooting for me too. 

All that is to say: I have deadlines and many social commitments, and I am trying to pull through. In all honesty,  I probably should have maybe deferred the start of my diploma, but we are here now. This module has been challenging, really hoping I don't have to resubmit. Eight days left before the deadline. 

I have to stop lying because it only makes everything worse for me (lol, a huge curveball innit ?). Going forward - I will tell only truths. No matter how consequential or inconsequential - hoping I do not get referred to the GMC for probity this time. I am praying for a favourable outcome.  I have been praying for a lot of favourable outcomes the last couple of months: for a visa (de javu), for a house, to find a dress, for my leave to be approved, to find a dress... even the good Lord must be tired. But the good Lord answered - ish... so yeah. I hope I haven't run out of luck. 

Most of the time, when I reflect, I always feel somewhere between sorrow and bliss. I suppose that is much the human condition, and we can't do much about it. More positively, my drives (yes, I am a driver) have been seamless, I have been learning a lot in neonates, I found a lovely house to share with lovely flatmates, and I absolutely love this season (like, have you seen the sunshine and the leaves and the sunsets ?!!! Can only be a phenomenal artist's work). The sorrow, well... you know... just another day. 

I suppose as it is a common theme, whenever I am spiralling, I wanna write (good or bad, I just want to pour out into something). So, here is my little measly offering, I hope it makes for a good or an okay three-minute read. I have to crack on with my essay now. 

Love and light, 

x

 And for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes

Love and light, 

x