Good life
Hello bo babes, I hope you have all been well. I have missed you guys...us...this...lol.
I wanted to title this post, 'nights', as in night shifts but meh. As I was coming home from my last night shift, I saw some snapchat memories and I thought; 'aahhh, life has actually been good to me lol'. Hence the title, Good Life by Francis Dunnery. I first heard it in the show Scrubs. Never could break in to Scrubs. I don't know why. It just didn't tickle my fancy.
Anyway my night shifts. Guys, guys, no! No. I have to be forthcoming and say, as a foundation (year one) doctor I am pretty sheltered. Always have been, that is my privilege, I am not ashamed. I work in a big-ish district general hospital. I have felt well supported almost one hundred percent of the time. My shifts have always been well staffed. Actually before Corona, I had worked only seven nights. It was only during one of those seven that I didn't get about three hours of sleep. Then I went to paediatrics and did absolutely nothing for five months. When I got back to adult medicine, it was corona times, there was more than enough staff, not a lot of patients in the emergency department and good vibes - my nights were full of sweet slumber. Oh how things change...
Things have gotten back to normal, or they are fast approaching normal. Literally had patients pouring out of my pores. My ward jobs list was long as my arm and well...no. I can't do thirty/forty more years of this. Guys, go a berekwa in the hospital. I do not know why I thought any different. My shift mates were on some; 'How have you never experienced this?', 'This is pretty much how all my night shifts go', 'Come on, it is not that busy!!'. Not busy for you. It was stressful and kind of funny to see just how easy I have had it so far. I guess this is the new norm and ummm...thanks, but I am good luv. I can't wait to back to a no on-calls rota, I will never ever complain about the pay. Another thing, I hate seeing the cracks in a system I am in and I hold in such high regard. These last three nights I have experienced the pain of working with inadequate staff levels, it's painful. Pain.
Having said that, I truly love general internal medicine(GIM), it is just that the average age of our patients means GIM is mostly geriatrics and issa no from me. I wonder if that is somewhat ageist. Being around elderly people/patients is humbling though. It makes you introspect and you realise that 'life always wins' in the end. You end up old, demented, your legs and your heart fail, and that is just the order of the day. Nothing much can be done. On the first night, I saw something that made me realise that though I claim to be fine with death, my heart shatters when young people die, especially when it comes as a surprise e.g. road traffic accidents. It reminded me of that episode in Greys, Izzie and Alex's wedding with the college graduates.
Much of what occupied my thoughts (during nights and just in general) was 'the next step' whatever that means. Things like;
- Do I really wanna do paediatrics?
- OBGYN could be a vibe...
- Am I really ready to be some junior doctor's senior ?
- Shit, I need to get better at taking bloods...
- Hey, I am really truly learning... this is kinda cool.
- I actually do not have to wait until I am a consultant to go back to Bdubs - I think.
- Woow, 10,000 steps. I wonder why my jeans don't fit... lol.
We shall see how my life goes with time.
I was moved to blog, to write any kind of blog post, just as long as I was writing by this. Struggling with my current read; Bell Hooks' All about love. It is giving me Gray Chapman's Five Love Languages kind of vibe and meh, she raises good points but I am underwhelmed. I think that is all for today. Thank you for coming back.
In retrospect, I could have named this post Some Nights, but oh well lol.
Love and light,
x
I wanted to title this post, 'nights', as in night shifts but meh. As I was coming home from my last night shift, I saw some snapchat memories and I thought; 'aahhh, life has actually been good to me lol'. Hence the title, Good Life by Francis Dunnery. I first heard it in the show Scrubs. Never could break in to Scrubs. I don't know why. It just didn't tickle my fancy.
Anyway my night shifts. Guys, guys, no! No. I have to be forthcoming and say, as a foundation (year one) doctor I am pretty sheltered. Always have been, that is my privilege, I am not ashamed. I work in a big-ish district general hospital. I have felt well supported almost one hundred percent of the time. My shifts have always been well staffed. Actually before Corona, I had worked only seven nights. It was only during one of those seven that I didn't get about three hours of sleep. Then I went to paediatrics and did absolutely nothing for five months. When I got back to adult medicine, it was corona times, there was more than enough staff, not a lot of patients in the emergency department and good vibes - my nights were full of sweet slumber. Oh how things change...
Things have gotten back to normal, or they are fast approaching normal. Literally had patients pouring out of my pores. My ward jobs list was long as my arm and well...no. I can't do thirty/forty more years of this. Guys, go a berekwa in the hospital. I do not know why I thought any different. My shift mates were on some; 'How have you never experienced this?', 'This is pretty much how all my night shifts go', 'Come on, it is not that busy!!'. Not busy for you. It was stressful and kind of funny to see just how easy I have had it so far. I guess this is the new norm and ummm...thanks, but I am good luv. I can't wait to back to a no on-calls rota, I will never ever complain about the pay. Another thing, I hate seeing the cracks in a system I am in and I hold in such high regard. These last three nights I have experienced the pain of working with inadequate staff levels, it's painful. Pain.
Having said that, I truly love general internal medicine(GIM), it is just that the average age of our patients means GIM is mostly geriatrics and issa no from me. I wonder if that is somewhat ageist. Being around elderly people/patients is humbling though. It makes you introspect and you realise that 'life always wins' in the end. You end up old, demented, your legs and your heart fail, and that is just the order of the day. Nothing much can be done. On the first night, I saw something that made me realise that though I claim to be fine with death, my heart shatters when young people die, especially when it comes as a surprise e.g. road traffic accidents. It reminded me of that episode in Greys, Izzie and Alex's wedding with the college graduates.
Much of what occupied my thoughts (during nights and just in general) was 'the next step' whatever that means. Things like;
- Do I really wanna do paediatrics?
- OBGYN could be a vibe...
- Am I really ready to be some junior doctor's senior ?
- Shit, I need to get better at taking bloods...
- Hey, I am really truly learning... this is kinda cool.
- I actually do not have to wait until I am a consultant to go back to Bdubs - I think.
- Woow, 10,000 steps. I wonder why my jeans don't fit... lol.
We shall see how my life goes with time.
I was moved to blog, to write any kind of blog post, just as long as I was writing by this. Struggling with my current read; Bell Hooks' All about love. It is giving me Gray Chapman's Five Love Languages kind of vibe and meh, she raises good points but I am underwhelmed. I think that is all for today. Thank you for coming back.
In retrospect, I could have named this post Some Nights, but oh well lol.
Love and light,
x
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