A sunday kind of love
Hello,
(Back story on the title - nothing to do with Sundays or love. Although you will get this blog post notification on Sunday so maybe a little relevant. I am in a really deep part of Spotify; I played dreams to remember by Otis Redding then I discovered the song by Etta James. And it felt right. I was not sure about this post but somewhere between washing the dishes and doing my face masks felt like a Sunday kind of vibe/love. Therefore some kind of approval from the universe. I didn't want to do another untitled - not yet anyway so that kind of worked). And now back to the post.
Happy new month you guys! (Oh my God and Happy New Year as well!)
I feel like February is the true start to the year (but I could also be making an excuse for doing absolutely nothing with my January). Also it's the month of love so yes...hubba-hubba! You know...the less I blog, the less I know how to express my thoughts on here, but I will try. I am having a really beautiful normal day. It is during these kind of days that I wanna blog, share my joy and share my thoughts.
How has my day been beautiful you ask?
I am home alone, so the morning was full of loud music and talking to myself out loud. I had smoked salmon (we are bougie now), eggs, toast and really good instant coffee for breakfast (my future children are gonna be so lucky to have me as a mom - honestly). The jeans I bought online fit like wow, God was flexing when he made my bum - honestly! I finally washed my make-up brushes and I am getting really good at applying eyeliner. To top it all off, I felt the fresh air on my face - so cooling, a little bit of warmth from the weak sun and some rain droplets when I was out walking at the park today. So yeah...beautiful.
Ummm and then, how have I been?
The answer: Good, meh, tired, happy, can't-be-bothered, a little tipsy here and there, grossly indulgent, I have been indulging!( there was one time I had half a block of cheese and three quarters of a bottle of wine in one sitting - but I was emotional so I guess that is allowed), a little sad and teary but not as bad as 2019 December, really productive - surprisingly, and truly kind of content, I like my life.
I have been thinking a lot about work. Not even in a bad way. Just my future, what I wanna be and where I want to be that? The next sentence is a rant. Being a junior doctor is truly truly bottom tier, 'the abuse' can come from anywhere; the consultants, the patients and their families, the nurses (oh my God the nurses!), the rota coordinators, everyone!!! That coupled with the crazy hours, the fact that sometimes you truly don't know what to do, even if you are doing the right things - is a lot. There are a lot of negatives. However, my current placement is heaven. Truly. I don't have on-calls, I don't work weekends or nights. I like the patients, I like the medicine here, and most people in the department are lovely but that is not the heaven part.
The heaven part; about seventy percent of the consultants and registrars in paeds are women, and they are brilliant (I mean brilliant). They are painfully good at their jobs! They are normal extraordinary women, they have kids, they wear make up and dresses, work part time or full time; they are surgical, they are intensivists, they are generalists, they are simply badass! It is just wow! Like I don't know why any of this matters, but I feel like I am in the right place and time for my psychological-professional needs. I am surrounded by such amazing women role models. Almost as if God is whispering a gentle "Yes" into my ears. Yes my child you can have 'it all', whatever 'it all' means to you. Am I gonna do paeds? I am I gonna have the four kids? I don't know, it is just reasserting to be in an environment that makes you believe you can be whatever you want.
Otherwise I am well, relatively broke because I don't work on calls but that is nothing locum shifts can't fix. That is if I can be bothered to actually book them - I just feel like I was meant to rest this rotation bathong. Also Monday is the day I stop indulging and start working out, wish me luck(this feels February last year lol). Like I said, 'February is the true start to the year'. I have a wishy-washy plan about the year at long last - progress.
I hope you guys are well and that your 2020 is going amazing. Thank you always for reading.
This felt so rusty - but we move.
Love and light
x
(Back story on the title - nothing to do with Sundays or love. Although you will get this blog post notification on Sunday so maybe a little relevant. I am in a really deep part of Spotify; I played dreams to remember by Otis Redding then I discovered the song by Etta James. And it felt right. I was not sure about this post but somewhere between washing the dishes and doing my face masks felt like a Sunday kind of vibe/love. Therefore some kind of approval from the universe. I didn't want to do another untitled - not yet anyway so that kind of worked). And now back to the post.
Happy new month you guys! (Oh my God and Happy New Year as well!)
I feel like February is the true start to the year (but I could also be making an excuse for doing absolutely nothing with my January). Also it's the month of love so yes...hubba-hubba! You know...the less I blog, the less I know how to express my thoughts on here, but I will try. I am having a really beautiful normal day. It is during these kind of days that I wanna blog, share my joy and share my thoughts.
How has my day been beautiful you ask?
I am home alone, so the morning was full of loud music and talking to myself out loud. I had smoked salmon (we are bougie now), eggs, toast and really good instant coffee for breakfast (my future children are gonna be so lucky to have me as a mom - honestly). The jeans I bought online fit like wow, God was flexing when he made my bum - honestly! I finally washed my make-up brushes and I am getting really good at applying eyeliner. To top it all off, I felt the fresh air on my face - so cooling, a little bit of warmth from the weak sun and some rain droplets when I was out walking at the park today. So yeah...beautiful.
Ummm and then, how have I been?
The answer: Good, meh, tired, happy, can't-be-bothered, a little tipsy here and there, grossly indulgent, I have been indulging!( there was one time I had half a block of cheese and three quarters of a bottle of wine in one sitting - but I was emotional so I guess that is allowed), a little sad and teary but not as bad as 2019 December, really productive - surprisingly, and truly kind of content, I like my life.
I have been thinking a lot about work. Not even in a bad way. Just my future, what I wanna be and where I want to be that? The next sentence is a rant. Being a junior doctor is truly truly bottom tier, 'the abuse' can come from anywhere; the consultants, the patients and their families, the nurses (oh my God the nurses!), the rota coordinators, everyone!!! That coupled with the crazy hours, the fact that sometimes you truly don't know what to do, even if you are doing the right things - is a lot. There are a lot of negatives. However, my current placement is heaven. Truly. I don't have on-calls, I don't work weekends or nights. I like the patients, I like the medicine here, and most people in the department are lovely but that is not the heaven part.
The heaven part; about seventy percent of the consultants and registrars in paeds are women, and they are brilliant (I mean brilliant). They are painfully good at their jobs! They are normal extraordinary women, they have kids, they wear make up and dresses, work part time or full time; they are surgical, they are intensivists, they are generalists, they are simply badass! It is just wow! Like I don't know why any of this matters, but I feel like I am in the right place and time for my psychological-professional needs. I am surrounded by such amazing women role models. Almost as if God is whispering a gentle "Yes" into my ears. Yes my child you can have 'it all', whatever 'it all' means to you. Am I gonna do paeds? I am I gonna have the four kids? I don't know, it is just reasserting to be in an environment that makes you believe you can be whatever you want.
Otherwise I am well, relatively broke because I don't work on calls but that is nothing locum shifts can't fix. That is if I can be bothered to actually book them - I just feel like I was meant to rest this rotation bathong. Also Monday is the day I stop indulging and start working out, wish me luck(this feels February last year lol). Like I said, 'February is the true start to the year'. I have a wishy-washy plan about the year at long last - progress.
I hope you guys are well and that your 2020 is going amazing. Thank you always for reading.
This felt so rusty - but we move.
Love and light
x
Comments
Post a Comment