Early mornings

This photo has nothing to do with this morning, but hey aesthetics...it's from Finchleys

Hello,
The sleep evaded me, so here I am. I mean, it is probably because I slept early last night plus my body is still in shift mode. Finally done with A + E shifts, but my sleep cycle is mess. Either way, I am up. I have been up since probably 2am. I thought my body would do the thing it usually does, where it goes back to sleep after thirty minutes to an hour. It did not. I social media’d, listened to a podcast I am following at the moment, I even meditated or tried to ( I swallowed a sword, confessed sins and was baptised in the river lol). Nothing. I even took off my socks because that helps sometimes, still nothing. 

I actually used to be quite the morning person. I woke up at 3.30am everyday, without fail, read my Bible, studied and got ready for school. I loved that routine…maybe my body is trying to go back (highly doubt that). Present me thinks that that old me had it together and is proud of her. Anyway, I am having breakfast. Oats and black coffee with sugar. I have realised I am so tired of eating the same food over and over. I am tired of bread, eggs, pasta, rice, chicken, bananas, soup, milk and the like. I just want change bathong. I should probably try vegetarianism, highly doubt that I will follow through with that though. Been singing the vegetarian song that for the last four years. Anyway, side track, umm after breakfast I will study and get on with my Sunday. Looking forward to washing the dishes, showering, practicing how to apply my make up, cutting my nails, washing my whites ( I got the pink vanish thingy, it was a childhood dream come true lol, that ad used to get me), a possible walk and I am making a beef stir fry today. Or something close to a beef stir fry. See how mundane my life is, but that is fine, I love my life. I am also going to try to figure out how to get a mailing list for my blog, this blog, just so that regulars are notified. I am just not confident enough to say ‘new blog post up, link in bio’, just yet. 

On more serious things, I am well. One last rotation then home vibes. After exam vibes that is. I think I am gonna go after the easter tournament. There is usually no rush to go to Botswana, for me anyway. Mental health, we are okay, not that we have ever been grossly unwell. I miss my friends, I especially miss wyling in London. I am not reading anything at the moment…but I am getting 'Questions for Ada' (paperback), I haven't started 'the tattooist', not feeling it just yet. I am also yet to finish ‘letters to my daughter’, for Maya Angelou’s work; I think it's rather disappointing. Moneywise, as okay as can be. I am even thinking of going back to proper saving. I also need to get new trainers for running ( I am those people now). Am I the only one that feels ‘I don’t know what the emotion is’ when they do things they have always wanted to do? For example; I am afro squad; I have always wanted to be part of the movement, I read somewhat avidly; I have always wanted to be a reader, I eat soup and salads now; I have always wanted to be the kinda person that enjoys soup/salad, I jog; anyone who knows me knows I have always wanted to be the type of person that does that, I have a blog; I am still adjusting to the whole idea but I have always wanted to have one, I have a MacBook; lol I will stop right here. I am not sure how much of it is is because of clout, social media, etc  but it is like I am becoming or rather have become. And it’s a lovely feeling. I wish it all on you guys. 

It is coming up to 7 am now, I have to study. I am also no longer anxious about upcoming assessments. I think it is because I am putting the work in and letting it be (see the power of mindfulness apps lol). Love and light, always x